I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
