ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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