you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
