WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
