she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
