so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
