Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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