and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
