I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
