You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize