You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
