ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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