I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
