Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize