I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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