How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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