Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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