Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
