Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize