she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
