Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
