he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
