she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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