im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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