i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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