Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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