my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
