quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
