remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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