Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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