I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
