So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
