i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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