I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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