Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
