Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
