and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
