Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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