This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize