There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
