You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
