it's too hot outside to masturbate.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
