so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
