READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
