Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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