i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
