How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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