And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
