I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
