People in love make me want to vomit
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
