My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
