I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
