my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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