I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize