Pappa wants mamma naked
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
