well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
