my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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