last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
