I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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