So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
