I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
