He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
