Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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