absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
