so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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