oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
