What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
A+ Viking dick
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
